Communication isn’t always easy.
We all have different communication styles, which can make it challenging to connect with others effectively.
Are you a straight shooter who values clarity and efficiency?
Or are you more of an empathetic communicator who prioritises relationships and emotions?
Whatever your communication style, we’ve got you covered.
In this article, we’ll explore the five different communication styles with practical techniques that can help you enhance your communication skills and build stronger connections with others.
The importance of effective communication
Effective communication reduces team friction, improves productivity and saves huge amounts of time. It enhances company culture and builds better working relationships. Put simply, the impact of effective communication can be felt throughout every key deliverable in a company.
Becoming a better communicator can improve virtually every aspect of your life: career, family, relationships, and friendships.
Gaining a deeper understanding of your own communication style and those around you can give you the tools you need to develop more meaningful connections.
Let’s take a closer look at the five communication styles.
The 5 communication styles
Everyone has their own unique communication style. But most people will fall into one of the five most common types.
Having a better understanding of your own communication style gives you a strong foundation to work with.
It will also explain why you behave in certain ways and why some people are easier to communicate with than others.
It’s important to note that your communication style isn’t fixed, you’ll probably find synergies across several styles. You may also notice that you adapt your communication style to the situation or person you’re talking to. This is perfectly natural and actually really quite useful.
Sticking rigidly to one style of communication isn’t always helpful, especially if that communication style doesn’t work well with the person you’re communicating with.
1. Assertive
Assertiveness can sometimes be confused with aggression, but this is way off the mark.
Whereas an aggressive communication style (more on this later) can be overbearing, an assertive communication style embraces a two-way dialogue.
The hallmark of an assertive communicator is the ability to express their needs and ideas clearly, whilst actively listening to the thoughts and feelings of those around them to find a compromise.
Assertive communicators are both self-confident and self-aware. They know their mind, as well as their needs, which they’ll share in a straightforward, no-nonsense style.
Someone who naturally favours an assertive communication style takes ownership of their thoughts and actions, using ‘I’ statements.
For example, ‘I feel as though this project could have been delivered more effectively’.
An assertive communication style is often touted as the most effective, especially in a business environment.
How to be a more assertive communicator
Look for the compromise. Try to be considerate to the needs of those you talk to and actively listen to what they say. You’ll need to exercise a degree of empathy and sensitivity to find workable solutions for everyone.
Don’t mince your words. Assertive communicators rarely use non-committal verbs like ‘should’ or ‘could’. They use ‘will’ instead. ‘I will deliver this project’ is far more affirmative than ‘I could deliver this project’.
How to work with an assertive communicator
Bring solutions to the table. Remember that an assertive communicator thrives on interactive discussions. So bring solutions and opinions to the table to ensure you can reach a meaningful conclusion for all involved.
Let them say their bit. As we’ve established, assertive communicators know what they want and need. So give them space to convey their opinions and suggestions, then take their recommendations on board.
2. Aggressive
People with an aggressive communication style can come across as intimidating, hostile and critical. An aggressive communicator wants to ‘win’ every conversation they take part in, regardless of what others think or feel.
They often speak in a loud voice and are unlikely to be sympathetic listeners.
Aggressive communicators are also more likely to dish out orders (many become leaders) and phrase questions bluntly. This domineering, one-way style of communication can lead to viewpoints being overlooked because the method of delivery aggravates listeners.
The aggressive communication style is not particularly endearing and is best avoided in business.
How to adjust your aggressive communication style
Use your confidence wisely. Rather than using your self-assurance to steamroller others, actively listen to what they tell you. When a person feels heard they’re more likely to hear what you have to say.
Reframe your mindset. The point of a conversation isn’t to ‘win’ at all costs. It’s to have a two-way dialogue that reaches a mutually beneficial solution. When you think along these lines, you’ll see results.
How to work with an aggressive communicator
Keep them on-topic. Ensure meetings and conversations are business-like and to the point. Keeping things matter of fact will ensure an aggressive communicator can’t veer into unpleasant areas of discussion.
Accept who they are. It’s not easy working with someone who has an aggressive communication style. Try to accept them as they are and work with them rather than against them.
3. Passive
Passive communicators are also known as ‘people-pleasers’ or ‘submissive’ communicators.
In practice, people who exhibit this communication style often struggle to articulate their thoughts and feelings. They’ll go to great lengths to avoid confrontation.
A passive communicator’s inability to express themself can often lead to anger, resentment and misunderstandings – both for them and their colleagues.
Often, passive communicators will defer to more assertive or aggressive counterparts.
Their ideas can go unheard and they may take on more work than they can handle due to their inability to say ‘no’.
But the passive communication style isn’t all bad. A passive communicator’s go-with-the-flow attitude can make for a harmonious team environment, providing a positive buffer for aggressive team members.
This communication style isn’t ideal for the individual or their team but will take time and patience to adjust.
How to adjust your passive communication style
Come up with a game plan. Consider speaking with your manager to find opportunities to practice your assertiveness. Practice exerting your opinions and contributing to discussions to boost your confidence.
Lean in to your diplomacy skills. Passive communicators are diplomats. The trick is not to compromise your own wishes and voice solutions that everyone in your team can benefit from – including you!
How to work with a passive communicator
Respect and value their ideas. Knowing how much effort it takes for a passive communicator to share ideas, it’s really important to respect their input. Consider their suggestions rather than dismissing them out of hand.
Don’t be confrontational. As we’ve learned, passive communicators shy away from confrontation. Try to keep your conversations solutions-focused because any hint of aggression or anger could lead them to shut down.
4. Passive-aggressive
As the name suggests, the passive-aggressive communication style combines elements of the passive and aggressive communication styles.
The result is a toxic blend of someone who appears easy-going on the outside but is operating from a place of anger beneath the surface.
A passive-aggressive communicator is unlikely to voice their discontent directly, but rather express it in subtler, more underhand ways.
Like passive communicators, passive-aggressive communicators tend to avoid confrontational situations.
Instead, they may act out in a variety of ways. For instance, they might be sarcastic, patronising, obstructive or vindictive.
The inward frustrations of a passive-aggressive communicator can cause wider malaise within a team.
This type of communication style is never appropriate in a business setting and requires support to overcome.
How to adjust your passive-aggressive communication style
Identify your objectives. Rather than treating conversations as a battle and participants as your enemies, try to bring solutions to the table. A more proactive communication style will be better received.
Control the controllables. They say life is 10% what happens to you and 90% how you react to it. If you can react to daily situations with a positive attitude, your relationships will improve.
How to work with a passive-aggressive communicator
Walk in their shoes. There’s often a reason why people behave in certain ways. Let’s say a colleague becomes passive-aggressive when there’s a deadline approaching. Be mindful of that and help them if possible.
Lead by example. A great way to diffuse situations with a passive-aggressive communicator is to reframe the conversation. Try rephrasing the message in a more assertive tone to illustrate a better approach.
5. Manipulative
The manipulative communication style is all about exerting influence in a controlling but deceitful manner.
Manipulative communicators rarely express their needs and desires upfront. Instead, they’ll try to exert their will using layers of manipulation; often completely unbeknownst to the person they’re talking to.
Manipulative communicators know what they want, the problem is they revert to deceitful tactics to achieve it.
Perhaps understandably, manipulative communicators can be unpopular with their colleagues. After all, although this communication style can be advantageous when dealing with disgruntled customers, if a fellow team member realises they’ve been manipulated they’re unlikely to trust or cooperate with this person again.
A manipulative communicator should be encouraged to transition to a more assertive style to improve their relationships.
How to adjust your manipulative communication style
Leave emotions out of it. As you try to employ a more assertive communication style, don’t be tempted to slip back into using emotional language. Keep things factual and direct to find the best compromise.
Don’t expect change overnight. If your colleagues have been burnt by your manipulation in the past, they may not be immediately receptive to your efforts to change. Build their trust by remaining consistent at all times.
How to work with a manipulative communicator
Stick to the topic. It’s important to steer a manipulative communicator towards a more assertive communication style. Stay on topic and don’t allow them to subvert a conversation for their own agenda.
Flip the script. Rather than criticising a manipulative communicator, try reframing the conversation. Clarify their needs and reiterate them clearly to show how they can better express themselves.
Final thoughts
If you spend your life trying to avoid conflict, win conversations, or manipulate colleagues and customers, it won’t come as a surprise to hear that these methods often fall on deaf ears.
But we’ve got good news for you: people rarely fall neatly into one of these communication styles. We’re normally a combination, which means we’re adaptable and can change our styles.
Now you know a bit more about the main communication styles you can make a conscious effort to be more assertive. Taking small but meaningful steps to adapt your approach can promote better relationships – both in the workplace and your personal life.
Effective communication often makes for strong leadership. If you enjoyed this article, why not find out more about common leadership styles to find out which category you fall into?
